Stop Divorcing Yourself

I realized it as I was reading the first chapter in Ericka Morrison's book Bandersnatch: I used to try to divorce the artist in me because it didn't seem "Christian".

Let me explain.

I used to believe that I couldn't be both a poet and a preacher. The two seemed separate to me. Poet seemed worldly. Preacher seemed spiritual.

Teacher was the gift and the compromise and seemed to fit into both.

But I can't deny that I'm a poet. I realized last night that being a poet isn't wrong.

The mind of God is a poet.

Just like the mind of God is an engineer.

Just like the mind of God is a scientist.

Just like the mind of God is a mathematician.

Just like the mind of God is a psychologist.

We all hold fragments of the reflection of God. Genesis 1:26.

If we are only looking at the teachers and preachers we are only seeing part of Him.

If we only accept the more spiritual parts of ourselves we are leaving out soul and body.

My spirit is a prophetess but my soul is a writer. And He made me that way.

What's more than that: He likes me that way.

We are making God religious and boring.

God is mind-blowing and cool.

And we don't understand Him.

When we try to cut off parts of ourselves it is evidence that we are putting God in a box.

**

I'm not saying that God doesn't want to take us on a journey to make us look more like Him. There are things that we will have to get rid of along our journey. There are sins we will have to shed. 

But we also don't have to divorce parts of ourselves.

We need all of the pieces within us to be whole- to be tied together in matrimony to Christ. 

You get to take along your eye for design. 

God has an eye for design.

HE MADE EVERYTHING.

You get to take along your calculations.

HE ORDERED THE MOON AND THE STARS.

You get to take along your art.

HE PAINTS THE SKY.

You get to take along your philosophy.

HIS THOUGHTS ARE HIGHER THAN OURS. 

HE CREATED ALL KNOWLEDGE. 

HE PROVIDES WISDOM.

I'm not talking about "accepting culture". Please don't get me wrong. I am talking about God being much less religious than we make Him. I am talking about God being the creator of everything. I am talking about the fact that we are made in His image. His image is complex. His image contains an infinite amount of faucets and fragments are seen in each of us. 

He cannot be contained, yet we contain pieces of Him.

With something to think about,

-Ashley

Fear

I've been re-evaluating a lot of things recently. I have been thinking about what the next season of my life will look like and quite frankly it both excites and scares me. 

I have seen two pictures that are really speaking to what the Lord is doing right now in my life for what is next.

The first one I saw on my way to school. It was the image of a piece of paper with the word FEAR on it written in red. I saw the piece of paper being torn in two.

The second image happened during service on Sunday morning. I saw myself holding a piece of paper with the word FEAR on it. However, this time I saw myself underwater and a huge whale was coming my way. I thought that the whale was going to swallow me, but instead it snatched the paper out of my hand and ate it. 

So, it doesn't take a brain surgeon to realize that I've been dealing with some issues of fear in my life. The Lord is showing me these pictures to illustrate what He is doing. 

He is removing fear. He is swallowing fear. He is tearing fear in two. 

I think whatever it is that is threatening me the most in my life is going to be the thing that takes the fear out of my hand. 

Consider this for yourself was well. Whatever it is that is coming your way that looks like it will swallow you whole is really the thing in your life that is trying to destroy fear. 

Crazy Joy

The strangest thing has happened in my 3rd block class.

We have been destroyed by waves of joy.

These waves usually hit at the beginning of the class period and leave us in hunched-over laughter. 

Friday, it happened again. It was beautiful. There is a freedom to play and be real and laugh that I have never quite experienced before. Did I mention I get to experience this with my my high-achieving students?

Smart cookies. Real smart cookies.

The kind that believe in Jesus' philosophy of leaving the 99 to go after the 1...the 1 point they missed from making 100 ...

And what are we doing? 

Laughing until we are crying.

After this, they do more work for me than any of my other classes combined. 

The lesson: Basking in His Presence of Joy produces amazing things.

Instead of the following: Saying you are standing in His Joy and striving to do amazing things.

Much of our church culture is flipped completely upside down. We trick ourselves into believing that we are supposed to be working for joy when really God intended joy to work for us.

You want to know why you are tired? 

You want to know why you are miserable?

Because you are working for that joy instead of laying in it!!

Maybe you need to stop working so hard. Maybe you need to stop serving so much. Maybe you need to bask a little while at the feet of Jesus. 

There is always a greater choice-- and it is never serving Jesus's needs, it is receiving from Him what He longs to give us.

If you don't believe me-- go read the story about Martha and Mary. Jesus was just as serious then as He is right now.

How do you foster an atmosphere for crazy joy? Invite Holy Spirit in and let Him surprise you. It's not going to happen if you are working really hard for it. It's going to happen when you walk right into it.

Praying for God to wreck your classrooms, homes, and workplaces with crazy JOY!!!!

Let go of control and put Him in control. Walk in peace and joy will follow you.


** In fact, please excuse any grammatical errors in this post... I'm so drunk on Joy right now that it's a little hard for me to write this for laughing.

Here is some inspiration: Tip of My Toes

100 before January 01

When it comes to exercise, it is important to turn off your brain.

I am sitting under the covers, on my bed, thinking about how I need to go run this morning to reach my goal of 100 miles.

The more I think about it, the longer it takes me to get out of bed and go.

In fact, writing this blog post is postponing my trip another three minutes. But I wanted to get this lesson down.

Another lesson I'm learning is that you don't have to use your brainpower in overdrive all the time. The brain needs a break. Stop thinking so much. 

Goal: 100 miles (biking, running, walking) by January 1, 2016.

25Cents: Lesson 1- Wide Open Life

My best friend informed me that I am 25 years of a century old.

That makes me sound really old. I actually feel younger now than I did when I was 18. But that is another lesson for another day.

There have been so many lessons that I have learned before I turned 25. Some of them have helped me much more than I would have ever guessed. They are definitely worth sharing.

Over the next two or three weeks, I am going to post the most important lessons I learned before turning 25. I hope you enjoy!

Lesson 1: Your destiny is not an enclosed space.

When I first entered into the school of education for my masters degree at the University of South Carolina, I felt trapped. All I could hear the enemy say was, "Well, you've settled for an average life. I hope you're happy".

I don't think I am alone in hearing something like this. I knew in my spirit that I was entering into the teaching profession for a purpose. I knew it was not the 50 year plan. But the voice of the enemy kept repeating a sense of smallness.

As God's children, we are not confined to a smallness of thinking. We are confined only by the smallness that we agree to. God wants us to live a wide open life. He wants to coax us out of the room we have been sitting in and out into the open of the destiny He provides.

This lesson is based on the understanding that our destiny is not in what we do as a profession. This can be categorized as part of His will for us, but it is not, in total, our destiny.

Our profession is what we do, but it is not who we are. In fact, our profession is really like a vehicle to drive through different parts of our destiny. Sometimes our profession might look like one thing because that kind of vehicle fits our current terrain. The Lord has the right occupation for our season at the right time. However, we have to be willing to part with our old vehicle for our new one. And it is not our destiny. Our profession can be a part of our destiny, but it is not our destiny within itself. Our destiny is what we were designed for. Our destiny is what He has put delight in us to complete. Our destiny is linked with destroying plans of the enemy. Our destiny is to directly impact the lives of others.

Do not settle for living in an enclosed space. The enclosed space does not come from circumstances, although it often appears that way. The enclosed space comes from the way we see our lives. We must see our lives from God's perspective. He will take us in His lap and remind us that when we look from a higher perspective, we see more.

You must change your mind in order to live a wide open life. This is a lesson that I learned around the age of 23, but is something that will continue to impact me for the rest of my life.

Mindset Shift

I used to walk around being very aware of the work of the enemy.

Now, I walk around being very aware of the work of God.

There are probably several things that can explain this shift; one of them is a shift of my own sight.

My car has become a very anointed place. Maybe it was all of those hours infiltrating the space with the songs of Jesus Culture, Bethel, and the like.

Maybe God decided to meet me there. Or maybe it's a combination of all three and I just happen to spend a lot of time in the car!

On my way home from work yesterday, I was washed with a wave of His presence. Like getting a goosebump wave from behind and from head on. Then this thought hit me: "Every single place I go, the enemy is going to know I was there."

I feel a sense of power and authority that I have been longing for my whole life. Many of us have a heart to help those who need it, but for a long time have felt helpless. 

We have been more aware of the enemy than of the presence of God. 

The Spirit of the Lord is an insurgent force. He in surges in us and then through us. Plug into His power and release it. 

Shift your eyes to see that the Kingdom of God is building an army with soldiers being equipped with skill, love, truth, power, and justice. 

Many soldiers are shaking awake to the prescence of God and learning to walk in His power. I desperately want to learn more so that I can better equip my children for the times to come. 

Expecting.

I live in a small town outside of historic Charleston, SC.

I have been waiting for this morning for about 3 months. I walked outside and I know something has changed.

The breeze is blowing and I run inside to grab a blanket. It's 55-- (depending on where you are this might be considered beach weather...) and to me it is perfect.

I fix my breakfast and a pot of tea with an overly large portion of local wildflower honey and bask in the glory of 6:15am.

Then, just as I settle in, the Lord says, "You will be pregnant most of your life."

?!?!?!?!?

"Umm, excuse me Lord, what was that?"

And I hear it for the second time. I also hear a chuckle.

"I am going to birth things through you your whole life. You are going to give new life."

The Lord is doing something new, and it's in YOU.

Feed yourself to nourish the creation God is going to birth in you. Stop in-taking what is poisonous to growth. Take in what is pure. Our lives are bigger than ourselves. 

Real Rant: Stress v. Rest Continued

About a month ago, I posted about beginning a journey of rest.

I told you that I would update you on my findings because, honestly, I had no idea what I was doing. And I try to be a woman of my word (#proverbs31 #goals).

Well, this month has been amazing with ZERO stress.

...

Just kidding.


But I have definitely learned some things.

1. Rest is a mindset.
2. Rest is a choice.
3. Rest does not equal laziness-- rest is holy.
4. Rest is a lifestyle.


But most importantly:

Rest keeps you in a state of Readiness. What does rest keep you ready for?

Rest keeps you ready for revival. Rest keeps you ready for rescue.

Rest keeps you in reliance on the One who can be relied on.

Anyone tired of alliterations yet? (Ironically, that was a vocabulary word in Yearbook 1 today!)

Rest is something that creates an environment for a spirit-filled, fulfilling life.

I used to think that rest was inaction. But rest is a state of being. Rest is a place in which you operate from-- not just something that you do.

Rest also helps reorder. Operating from a place of rest helps to reorder the list of things that we deem important.

Operating out of a spirit of rest means that you are focused on Him.
It doesn't mean that all you do is sit in your room singing praise songs and praying in a million ways of rest.

It means that everything else is in order. He is at the beginning. He is at the end. Everything in our lives are seen through His light, from His perspective.

Rest releases an inner high-rise.

You suddenly see things from a higher perspective. You see the things that stressed you as farther away, and therefore, smaller. This is the size stress should always come in: small.

Rest translates to trust. Trust in Him and there is rest in your spirit.

About two weeks ago I had this amazing encounter with God in my car. It was a very normal moment, but filled with so much meaning and power. I was driving my car, worried about the potential danger of a student who was dealing with a lot of stress and anger in his life. I was worried about the safety of my students, my co-teacher, and myself. I was also very concerned with the welfare of this particular young man. Long story short, I could feel myself sitting with all of my neck muscles tightened. I hold all of my stress in my neck since I was in a car accident four years ago-- and I probably held stress there before then as well.

I heard the Lord whisper, "Give it to Me. Give Me your concerns for this student." And so, I said, "Lord, I give them to you."

As soon as those words escaped my lips, I had the most intense feeling of chills I've ever had in my life. All of the chills were concentrated on my neck and shoulders. Small vibrations went up down my stiff neck muscles. The feeling left and I felt completely relaxed and at peace-- as if I had just finished getting a message!

The Lord wants you to operate from rest. Rest leads to trusting in Him. Trusting Him is partnering with Him. All of my fears and concerns did not come true. And even if they had, I would rather be operating out of rest, than stress.

Life in Next and Now

Right now, I am finding myself very fulfilled in the 3rd day of teaching my incredible, crazy, hormonal, insightful, high school students. 

I have a class at the end of the day with a lot of struggling learners and they have made a special way into my heart already.

To think that at one time I dreaded this season. 

I remember hearing God call me into teaching High School like He was calling me to the mission field. (In many ways it has been like that...)

And I remember being so upset about it! 

It's funny how the seasons God drags you kicking and screaming into are the same seasons you gain such a new perspective from. Perhaps it is the perspective of being dragged that makes God appear so much bigger. Or maybe it's because eventually we are looking up at Him and that's what He wants after all.

He has told me that this season of teaching High School students is not my 50 year plan. But today, and the past three days, I really loved it. 

To think that if my attitude hadn't changed my perspective might not have either.

Your season is a training ground, but it is also a place for you to live fully. Now is not the place to live in Next.

When Next becomes Now then live it fully as well.

Just don't stay too long in the Now, overstaying your welcome in the Now will one day mean you are living in past obedience. 

Enjoy now. Enjoy singleness. Enjoy a full house with screaming kids. Enjoy school. Enjoy your profession. Live Now fully. But don't neglect the Next.

Look at Him

Focus.

Focus. Don't look to the right or to the left. He has marked out the race for you.

Let the Holy Spirit train you the way God desires.

Run the race. God has promised us overwhelming joy. Can you feel His joy now. Wait until you feel His joy. 

"Spirit of the living God come fall afresh on me-- come wake me from my sleep"

Awaken--

The time is coming for you, as the bride to rise in strength.

Prepare, the time is coming, when God will pour out His spirit on all flesh.

"Strip everything away, until all I have is you. Undo the veil so all I see is you."

Are you preparing for a wedding? Because you walk around like you are preparing for a funeral.

The things God has promised you in new life and new covenant are far greater than anything you had to leave behind.

Pursue Him! Pursue Him with your heart. He stands in front of you. He is looking into your eyes. Pursue Him from the distance between your head and your heart. 

The Spirit will guide you- go.

Go

Don't look back today. The Lord is calling you forward into the next season. Don't let the disappointments of the last season hinder you from the fullness He promises in the one that is coming.

The next season is about risk. Risk for Him. Risk for yourself. Risk for a life you have yet to imagine.

Go! 

Don't look back. Only pillars of salt await those who focus on what they are losing rather than all there is to gain.

Go!

The old has passed and the new is come. 

Go!

Everything you lost were things you didn't need.

Go!

He is sufficient for you. He is good and will sustain you. 

Go!

He has designed you to be strong and to act in tune with His great strength.

Go!

His arms are open wide. He has been waiting your whole life to walk with you through this season. 

Go! 

Thousands of people you have never met have prayed that one day you would awaken and cross into this season.

Go! 

Hundreds of leaders have been rising up for this time. They have been praying that one day you would join them.

You are the one they have been praying for. Within you lies the destiny and the power of The Most High.

Go!

Rest follow up:

A few days ago I talked about rest. I really had no idea what I needed to do to achieve a lifestyle of rest. I still don't have all of the answers so don't get too excited.

But-- I had two small moments I want to share with you:

(Both of these occurred when I was laying in my bed not thinking about rest at all)

1. This idea flew into my thoughts: kick your cell phone out of your bed. In fact, end the night time relationship. End it and kick that thing out of your room.

So, I relocated my phone to the kitchen. I got back in bed, snuggled up in my covers and...

2. A second thought flew into my mind: get out of bed, walk to the threshold of your bedroom door and let your thoughts go before you walk back inside. No more thought conversations with people who you will see tomorrow. No more worries about the days' troubles. Leave them at the threshold of the door and walk inside.

As I got back into bed, I felt the Lord speak wisdom into my heart: 'the bedroom is a place of rest and connection. Only connect with the people and situations in your room that are actually there with you.'

Right now, the only two beings here are me and God. At some point, this space will include a husband or a child or both. Connect with the people in the present. Not the hypothetical ones or the mirages of those you will see tomorrow. The bedroom is a space of rest NOT a stage for worry rehearsal. 

God is teaching me to reset the culture of my room from just another compartment of worry to a haven of rest and restoration. 

I haven't lived out dropping my thoughts at the door perfectly, but this isn't about perfection. This is about growing and moving. And I really like where this rest journey is taking me...

Real Rant Wednesday: Tired

I am tired. And I'm heading into a full season. 

I am not quite sure why I am tired, or how this exactly happened because technically, I have been on summer break.

I have rested from school work, but I haven't really rested from anything else.

What is rest anyway?

Sometimes I feel like I get it confused with laziness. Other times I disguise rest with "low-key" business. But sometimes time with others turns into work.

Join with me as I journey to discover what rest really is.

I'm going to try to discover the true meaning of rest as I enter into another full season. 

I feel like I have missed out on the opportunity for an extended season of rest, but I also believe that God doesn't want me to have JUST a season of rest, or JUST a  few moments of rest. 

I think God wants me to operate out of rest.

I wish I could say that that meant I was going to forgo all current responsibilities. Unfortunately, I can't sit at home eating bonbons. I'm pretty sure that you can't either.

My main question: How does one operate out of rest? 

I'm beginning to think that operating out of rest starts in how you think. I believe rest can be a mind set. 

I don't have the details on this whole mindset thing just yet. But I am really going to seek an answer to this during the next few days. I will journal my experiences with rest and share them with you in the next few days. 

 

A Lesson from The Three Little Pigs

Yes, you read that title correctly.

If you haven't figured out that this is a rather unconventional blog, then this will surely prove it to you.

So, back to The Three Little Pigs...

You may remember from the good ole children's tale that the phrase "I'm gonna huff, I'm gonna puff, I'm gonna blow your house down!" was used quite frequently by our evil character the wolf.

The Pig in the straw house didn't stand a chance.

The Pig in the stick house might have made the wolf a little winded.

But the Pig in the brick house was like, "Bruh, you gonna have to get me a different way."

If your house is strong, there are some threats you just simply don't have to worry about. 

The enemy is just spitting idle threats if you know that you live in the fortress of the Most High God.

So, what are your life goals if you know you are squatting in a straw house or a stick house?
Get yourself a BRICK HOUSE.

Now, if you know you're living in a brick house, and you're feeling all good and secure because there is NO WAY the enemy is going to "huff and puff and blow your house down", do you think the enemy is just going to leave you alone?

If only...

Instead, he's gonna try to come through the chimney. (At least that's what I think happened in the children's book, forgive me if I'm wrong...).

So, what do you do to keep the big bad wolf out of your chimney?

You light a fire and start cookin' up something good!!

And that's the same thing we need to do in our spiritual lives. So, once we've got a house of brick, we need to keep that fire lit and that water boiling so that if the enemy even thinks about invading our territory, he will get his little sneaky butt burned.

Remember, we are more than conquerors.

Instead of this:

We should be like this:

Or even better...like this:

Roasted wolf, anyone?

One Perspective on Freedom

Me this morning:

4:00 AM exactly. My thoughts: again. Three days in a row...Okay, okay it's only been two. Do you like how I don't even argue anymore? Remember in grad school how I used to mumble at You under my breath for planning a meeting at this hour. 

Yeah, Yeah. I know, I'm not as thrilled as You'd like for me to be. But this seems urgent.

(Side Note: In grad school, I used to wake up pretty regularly at about 4AM. After a while, I figured God was trying to talk to me. I was so busy during that season that He needed a time when He knew I would hear Him. I used to joke and call it "prayer meeting". So now the 4AM hour is like an inside joke between me and God.)

I checked my phone, because-- let's be honest-- that's the first thing us Americans are trained to do when we wake up.

I had a text from my best friend and I sat down with the first journal I could grab (because, yes, there are multiple ones on my floor...don't judge).

As I began to pray some things out, God suddenly gave me an image to share with her. My best friend loves analogies and images. I love how God knows exactly how to speak to us.

The image was extremely specific to her particular situation, but after typing it out in a text message, I realized that it could probably apply to many people.

I'm going to give you the AshNotes version of what I sent to her:

Sometimes the enemy knows that he can't stop your feet because you've already determined to go and he can't stop your mind because it's already made up, and he can't stop your heart because it's already set so he keeps trying to attack your ears. It's like he's forced earmuffs on you to block out the joy that God is singing over you. (Because you better believe that He is singing joy over you...). The enemy knows that if you can hear the song, you will be joyful. And with what you've already got going for you that's the LAST thing he needs right now. But guess what? God isn't worried. You know why? Because He's placed the song that He sings over you in the middle of your heart. That's right. It's INSIDE you.

Wait, wait, wait. This is the time for you to look at the enemy and say, "Come at me now, bro."

Because of all the things the enemy can do to you and around you, he can't stop God from rising up His love and power on the inside of you. The Holy Spirit loves to be stirred up and especially from the inside.

***

God is whispering, "I've already given you freedom in this. Walk out of the cell. The enemy is literally leading you back into the cell by just the words he is using. His words are powerless. Quit walking back into the cell. You putting action to his suggestions are what is leading you back into captivity.

He is a liar. And in some circumstances, not even a good one, if you know who you belong to. Walk out of the cell. The door is open. Walk out of the cell. You don't have any chains on; you're just standing there," He chuckles, "Walk OUT."

Why does God chuckle? No, He's not mocking you. He loves you. He knows that the enemy is far less powerful than He is. He is laughing because the solution is simple.

It's like the enemy looks at you and says, "Yeah, you should really be in prison right now. You remember what you did? You see how you are messing up?" And us, overwhelmed and tired say, "Yes, I really should be". And we walk into the same cell that God just freed us from because the enemy simply reminded us of who we used to be, or that we are acting in our old nature.

It's not because the enemy drug you in by your hair, but because he suggested it.

Can we talk about this please?

Because he MENTIONED it.

God is looking at him going, "Really?"

But sometimes God is looking at us going, "Really? Ignore him and keep walking ahead in freedom."

Let the song God has placed within you rise up. But don't just let it rise up, let it come out of your mouth so that others-- who haven't heard the love in their hearts yet-- can hear a different song.

The Underpinnings

Why The Underpinnings?

Underpinnings are a solid foundation laid below ground level to support or strengthen a building.

I love the idea of building. I love the vision of it. I love how the foundations support the rooms which support the roof which cover the whole thing in protection.

Underpinnings are also known as ways to strengthen the foundation of already existing buildings for additional support. I believe there is a great call on people among all ages to be a people who support the foundations.

To be a people who get down under already existing foundations of local churches and organizations to strengthen them from the bottom up.

Or to start a new foundation. To start a new building. 

The Underpinnings aren't always glamorous. The Underpinnings are rarely dainty.

The Underpinnings are knee deep in dirt. They are sweaty. They are workin'. 

But they aren't working so hard that they can't stand. They are standing on the Cornerstone. They are resting on the rock of Jesus.

So, yes, their work is hard. So, yes, their burden is light.

Feeling the beautiful tension yet?

I hope that you check in with me as I enjoy both the tension and the beauty of living a life as an underpinning.

I hope that you find these posts to support you as you support others.

Breaking Sticks

I've recently been working on a children's book about beavers. I'm definitely not Dr. Seuss, but I love creative writing. It sets me free in a world of my own where I get to create and tell stories.

In my spiritual life, I've been working on developing better disciplines for my thoughts.  As I have continued on this journey of disciplining my thoughts, I have discovered that we play a huge role in maintaining the things we entertain in our minds.

We cannot always stop certain thoughts from entering our minds, but we can catch them as they enter and break them under command and authority of Jesus.

I love it when I get an image to help me fully understand something that is going on in the spirit realm. As I have been going through the process of developing greater discipline in my thought life, I have seen the image of a stick breaking.

For instance, when a thought enters my mind, I address it immediately. (Now, not every single thought needs to be addressed, but the Holy Spirit will help you monitor what needs to be zeroed in on).

I want you to picture a stick that looks like a primitive arrow being shot in through your left ear. As it enters your mind I want you to picture it stopping mid air. Pausing for classification and if it doesn't fall into any kind of healthy or life-giving category, then there is no room for it. If it's not going to build life, its going to dam it up.

I am an analyzer at heart. I love to pick apart something and determine its greater meaning. This can be helpful in many different circumstances. However, when it comes to daily thought life, it can lead to a lot of confusion, clutter, and unnecessary time spent on thoughts that aren't as significant as I'd like to make them.

I don't think I'm the only one who suffers from a place of being a thought hoarder.

It's like I got into the habit of keeping everything. I couldn't throw out anything out of my mind. When you think of shows that feature people who deal with this in the physical realm it is easy to understand how it connects to a mental state.

When you have unnecessary junk everywhere, it's simply hard to walk around.

Peace is hard to come by because you are smothered by so much stuff that you don't even know where to begin to organize.

You don't want to throw certain thoughts out because you believe they might serve a greater purpose in helping you one day. You might find a certain thought or idea useful. But soon you have so much in one space that you can't even organize. Your workspace  is covered with half baked ideas and half of the materials needed to bring something significant about.

The enemy loves to help encourage the clutter by sending in unnecessary thoughts that distract us from our cluttered projects and remind us how inefficient and insufficient we are as human beings.

So, as I started to monitor my thoughts more one on one, I began to see the image of a stick breaking as I captured a thought and brought it under the authority of Jesus.

This may sound crazy to you, but I figured that living in a mental state of clutter was much crazier than seeing images of breaking sticks. Sometimes the tactics to achieve and keep freedom are more unusual than we'd like them to be. I will risk being seen as weird for the sake of living in freedom.

So, a thought sits before me, and I would say, "I break this thought in the name of Jesus".

I see a stick break in my mind. And I pick the two pieces up and toss them out the door.

After a few days of this practice, it becomes a little more natural and a little less necessary to envision the sticks breaking every single time. But I try to do a clean sweep at least once or twice a day to make sure there aren't any hanging out that don't really need to be there.

The peace I am currently experiencing in my mind is incredible.

As I began to experience this peace, I asked God to show me what the sticks were doing as I let them pile up.

I suddenly saw the image of a huge dam.

I asked God what the dam was holding. I then saw the image of huge amounts of water stirring behind the dam. These waters were new things the Holy Spirit wanted to do. New things God wanted to do in and through me. All of the thought clutter was damming up the flow of God's creative work.

It was cluttering up my mental workspace and holding me back.

What happens when the sticks quit coming in? The dam quits being built up.

Better question: What does God want to do with the dams in our minds?

He wants to literally obliterate them. He wants to explode them. He wants to lace them with dynamite and BLOW THEM UP.

He wants you to experience a crashing wave of water that will literally flow in you, through you, and out of you into every single thing you touch.

Enlist the help of the One who wants to break everything in your heart and mind that keeps the current of his love from flowing freely.

Don't forget that as God frees you from something, or takes you into a greater level of freedom and healing, you automatically receive the power through the Holy Spirit to free others from what He has freed you from.

This is vindication through the power and authority of God. A new level of freedom becomes a new level of testimony and a new level of God's punishment on the enemy.

We spend a lot of time running from the enemy when really, the enemy should be running from the power of God in us and the power of what God is doing through us.

Dear Lord,

I pray that those who read this post would begin to be freed from the thought clutter they experience. I pray that You would teach them specific and individualized ways to break the destructive thoughts that enter into their minds. Give them supernatural discipline to overcome thought strongholds that were either developed or inherited. I pray that you would break patterns of scattered thoughts and provide focus and insight that is so strong that even people who are taking medicine for things like ADD or ADHD would no longer have to take this medicine. I pray your supernatural healing on thought lives.

In Your Holy Name, Amen.

The Tragedy in Charleston and the Posture of Nehemiah

It hit me in the car on the way to the prayer service yesterday. I was transitioning from an intense workout with my friend at the Air Force Base to a mental and spiritual atmosphere of mourning.

When tragedy hits, you often want to feel like it is far removed from you. 

But when you think about how close it is, the realization of it cannot leave your heart untouched.

I did not personally know any of the victims that were murdered Wednesday night.

However, as I thought of their precious lives while I was in my car on the way downtown yesterday morning, I was overwhelmed with a grieving Holy Spirit.

I started crying, almost uncontrollably at the thought that these people lived, worked, prayed, and directly impacted our community. 

As a preacher spoke at the prayer service yesterday, 'This is an attack against the entire body of Christ. We operate in one spirit. The spirit is not black or white, the spirit is not a color or a race, but the precious bride of Christ. We must come together as one spirit. We must grieve together. We must wake up together to understand that our protection does not come from the walls of our churches but by the shelter of the Almighty.'

I have not done a whole lot of research to see what the world is saying about Charleston or the shootings. Although I am interested in seeing how the situation is being seen by those around the world.

I just know that in Charleston, there is a call for ALL believers to come together in one spirit: to grieve and to mourn, yes, but also to stand together.

As I was riding to the prayer service with my friend Anna, I recalled Nehemiah and began reading out of chapter 1 as we arrived at our destination.

Nehemiah 1:4-11 

When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven. Then I said: "O Lord, God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and obey his commands, let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night for your servants, the people of Israel. I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father's house, have committed against you. We have not obeyed the commands, decrees and laws you gave your servant Moses. Remember the instruction you gave your servant Moses, saying 'If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the nations, but if you return to me and obey my commands, then even if your exiled people are at the farthest horizon, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name.' 

"They are your servants and your people, whom you redeemed by your great strength and your mighty hand. O Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of your servants who delight in revering your name. Give your servant success today by granting him favor in the presence of this man"

I was a cupbearer to the king.

 Through Jesus, we have direct access to The King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Cupbearers were tried and true warriors who were trusted to bring good things to the King and not poison.

If you are a believer, you are a cupbearer. Bear what is in your cup before the King today. If it is a cup of mourning, bring your cup of mourning. If it is a cup of sorrow, bring your cup of sorrow. If it is a cup of repentance, bring your cup of repentance.

Let the chambers of heaven be filled with our cups, to make a pleading before the Lord. Let our cups say, "Heal our land. Heal our hearts. Heal our people." And then echo it again and again.

And God, who is far greater than the King in Nehemiah, will turn our cups of mourning into cups of revival for our beautiful city.

May God commission us, as the King did to Nehemiah, to go and rebuild the spiritual walls of protection around our city. May we be moved to seek after God and the power of the Holy Spirit in greater ways than ever before. May we be moved to greater boldness and love than ever before.

And as we rebuild our walls, as those in the book of Nehemiah, let us come together. Let us come together as One body and One spirit and One remnant as the lines that have divided us before break in the presence of Our God.

As a prophetess spoke yesterday, "A shifting will take place over the next seven days. God is going to break chains and bring about new freedoms over our city. A shifting is taking place in the atmosphere."

Let's shift our eyes to God and watch as God shifts the hearts of those who live in the Holy City.

 

 

 

Who Told You That?

Waking Up to Identity

Recently I got into a conversation where I was asked what I do for a living. I am a local high school teacher and typically get responses such as, 'Bless your heart', or 'Mmmm. I'm so sorry for you.' or my favorite, 'I don't know how you do it!'. 

After teaching for a mere 1 year, I have learned to take those statements in stride. Mostly, because I have entertained much worse thoughts without the prompting of anyone else. (When you find yourself locked in a room with 28 teenagers who have about 100 other things on their minds that are more important than what you are trying to teach them, you tell me what kind of thoughts you have...)

One thing I have learned from being a teacher is that you can't have your identity determined by the success or perceived failure of your daily work.

It really doesn't matter what kind of profession you find yourself in. This applies to lawyers, ministry leaders, cafeteria workers, waitresses, bankers, and the like.

I remember near the end of the year, I heard one of my best students talking very quietly to one of his friends. He was critiquing my class and I just happened to zero in on some not-so-warm-and-fuzzy comments. 

Instead of putting his 14-year-old critique where I should have put it, I took it straight to my heart. I allowed his one statement on that day's activities to directly impact how I saw myself as a teacher and as a human being.

On the way home from school, I was pouring out my heart to God, wondering how I could have failed in such a big way. I remember feeling Him ask me, "Are you going to let that one statement define you as a person?" 

While I was stuck spinning from His first question, He was quick to follow up with, "What about what I have to say about you?"

Valid point, God. Valid point.

After surviving my first year of teaching I was about to redefine my long list of successes by a much shorter list of failures.

Isn't the enemy sneaky?

Honestly, it's not even about the length of the list of failures or successes. Sometimes you can be faced with a situation in which the list of failures is one hundred and the list of successes sits at a big goose egg. 

What's interesting is that God is the best teacher who ever existed.

He knows that none of us learn best by having a conversation that goes like this:

"You know what your son said about you? How you are the worst parent in the world? Well...you should really just go ahead and apply that to who you are as a human being. In fact, your failures as a father directly translate to your failures as My son."

Apply this line of thinking to any situation in your life. I can almost 100% guarantee that you have experienced something similar to this thought process.

The wonderful thing about God is that He WILL NEVER talk to you like this. This line of questioning is not going to take you to a place where you will be able to act in the fullness of your calling.

This is only going to further hinder you by threatening you every time you enter into the environment in which it happened.

It opens the door for fear in your relationships and hinders your influence in the work place.

1 John 4:18 writes, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

God speaks to you through perfect love. When you are starting from a place of perfect love you don't have to be shaken by what others say, or even by those who criticize you in order to grow you.

You don't take the criticism or the lack of affirmation as personally as you do when you are avidly lacking and seeking love.

The only reason you are looking for and actively seeking love in any other place than the Father is that you have not connected to His perfect love for you.

This is not something that we can just think about or experience one time and be filled for life. It's like getting married and letting one kiss satisfy you for life. Umm...I'm not married, but I'm thinking that kind of logic is pretty ridiculous.

If human love can be so addicting, why aren't we more addicted to the perfect love that God has for us.

In fact, I am convinced that reconnecting to God's perfect love for us flows out into all aspects of our life. 

1 Peter 4:8 reads "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins".

We are too broken and needy in our earthen state to start off the day without reconnecting to His love for us. If we do not connect to His love, we go about seeking love from places that will not give us the fullness of the love that we really need.

It doesn't mean that your husband or wife won't fill your love void in some way. It doesn't mean your friends won't or affirmation from your boss won't or your own thoughts won't do it.

It simply means that no other form will be enough. When you start off the day full and connected to perfect love, you can give love more generously instead of going about seeking it, or being on the prowl.

Which leads me to my next question, Why do humans seek love so desperately? 

In my opinion, it is because love is directly connected to our sense of self worth and therefore, directly connected to our identity.

Over the past week I have been more conscious to connect in to God's love. This looks different at different times, but it doesn't always translate directly to "quiet time". Most of the time it literally looks like me taking a few seconds to physically request to actively feel the love of God. 

Yes, you can actively feel the love of God. 

No, it is not a ridiculous request. 

What does it feel like? You might ask. Well, for me it feels like strong and secure arms are being wrapped around me. It sounds like someone is telling me, "I love you so much". Sometimes there is even the most fantastic scent that gets sent my way. CRAZY?! If God can create the heavens and the earth, then He can certainly send you any kind of comfort He wants to.

And personally, I'm cool with having love manifested in a really awesome smell. I used to think I was just sitting near someone who smelled really awesome, but then I would get a wave of it in the car by myself or sitting in an empty classroom.

God loves to surprise us. God loves to speak to us. God also loves to confront those voices that try to contradict His.

***

Over the past three days I have heard this question within myself about 20 times: Who told you that?

It's a great question, really. Especially when it comes from God.

Who told you that?

When you start to tap into the perfect love connection God is ready and desiring to send you, a conversation opens between you and the One who loves you more than anything.

Who told you that you aren't beautiful?

Who told you that you can't write?

Who told you that you will never be successful enough?

Who told you that you have to be afraid?

Who told you that you have to worry when I am the I AM?

Who told you that you can't do it?

Who told you that you won't win this fight?

Who told you that you can't go?

Who told you that you will be rejected?

Catching my drift?

He wants you to know that HE isn't the one telling you some of the things you believe about yourself, your life, your job, or your future.

He is calling you up and out of your failures. He is calling you to walk and thrive in success. He is calling you to a life of victory. He is calling you to a life of victory beyond any particular situation or circumstance.

Life becomes much more clear when we begin to connect to the One that loves us. 

Connect to Him and let Him define who you are.

Arise

One night, I had a terrible dream. I was asleep in a very confined space. All of the sudden I realized the dark, confined space was a coffin. With the new understanding that I was trapped in a coffin, I had a new feeling of being alive. 

I WAS NOT DEAD.

I WAS ALIVE AND WANTED EVERYONE TO KNOW IT.

I started banging my right fist against the wood above me. I heard a whisper say, "You are dead. Why are you even trying?"

But the voice only made me want to get out faster. 

Suddenly, my fist broke through the wood. Light poured inside. Even though I wasn't completely out, there was something about that light that promised freedom. 

I woke up.

***

God wants us to rise up and know that we are fully awake and FULLY ALIVE. 

Let the whispers of the enemy push us only to a greater awareness of the power God has placed within us and the urgency in which we should harness it and GET UP. 

***

Dear God,

I pray that You would wake us up to any places in our lives that are dead. I pray that You would restore life to our fragile places. I pray that You would renew what is asleep within us. I pray that the voice we hear that tells us we should just go back to sleep would do the exact opposite. I pray it would throw us out of slumber. 

Amen. 

Dream to Your Dream

Dream to your Dream.

Right now, you may not be living in the fullness of the dream God has placed within your heart. If you aren't, don't be afraid or discouraged. Ask God to give you a dream to your dream.

We were not meant to stop living while we wait for our ultimate dream to arrive. We were meant to live each and every day fully present and fully alive. We were meant to live each day with a dream for that day, or for that season. 

God did not create us to be dissatisfied until we reach our "destination". He created us for an incredible journey that will take us to our big dream and beyond. 

Let's ask Him to give us dreams that will help strengthen and prepare us for the dreams to come. So, while you wait for your big dream, dream a hundred little dreams and watch them come true. 

(Thanks Tiff for inspiring me to write this post!)