Who Told You That?

Waking Up to Identity

Recently I got into a conversation where I was asked what I do for a living. I am a local high school teacher and typically get responses such as, 'Bless your heart', or 'Mmmm. I'm so sorry for you.' or my favorite, 'I don't know how you do it!'. 

After teaching for a mere 1 year, I have learned to take those statements in stride. Mostly, because I have entertained much worse thoughts without the prompting of anyone else. (When you find yourself locked in a room with 28 teenagers who have about 100 other things on their minds that are more important than what you are trying to teach them, you tell me what kind of thoughts you have...)

One thing I have learned from being a teacher is that you can't have your identity determined by the success or perceived failure of your daily work.

It really doesn't matter what kind of profession you find yourself in. This applies to lawyers, ministry leaders, cafeteria workers, waitresses, bankers, and the like.

I remember near the end of the year, I heard one of my best students talking very quietly to one of his friends. He was critiquing my class and I just happened to zero in on some not-so-warm-and-fuzzy comments. 

Instead of putting his 14-year-old critique where I should have put it, I took it straight to my heart. I allowed his one statement on that day's activities to directly impact how I saw myself as a teacher and as a human being.

On the way home from school, I was pouring out my heart to God, wondering how I could have failed in such a big way. I remember feeling Him ask me, "Are you going to let that one statement define you as a person?" 

While I was stuck spinning from His first question, He was quick to follow up with, "What about what I have to say about you?"

Valid point, God. Valid point.

After surviving my first year of teaching I was about to redefine my long list of successes by a much shorter list of failures.

Isn't the enemy sneaky?

Honestly, it's not even about the length of the list of failures or successes. Sometimes you can be faced with a situation in which the list of failures is one hundred and the list of successes sits at a big goose egg. 

What's interesting is that God is the best teacher who ever existed.

He knows that none of us learn best by having a conversation that goes like this:

"You know what your son said about you? How you are the worst parent in the world? Well...you should really just go ahead and apply that to who you are as a human being. In fact, your failures as a father directly translate to your failures as My son."

Apply this line of thinking to any situation in your life. I can almost 100% guarantee that you have experienced something similar to this thought process.

The wonderful thing about God is that He WILL NEVER talk to you like this. This line of questioning is not going to take you to a place where you will be able to act in the fullness of your calling.

This is only going to further hinder you by threatening you every time you enter into the environment in which it happened.

It opens the door for fear in your relationships and hinders your influence in the work place.

1 John 4:18 writes, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

God speaks to you through perfect love. When you are starting from a place of perfect love you don't have to be shaken by what others say, or even by those who criticize you in order to grow you.

You don't take the criticism or the lack of affirmation as personally as you do when you are avidly lacking and seeking love.

The only reason you are looking for and actively seeking love in any other place than the Father is that you have not connected to His perfect love for you.

This is not something that we can just think about or experience one time and be filled for life. It's like getting married and letting one kiss satisfy you for life. Umm...I'm not married, but I'm thinking that kind of logic is pretty ridiculous.

If human love can be so addicting, why aren't we more addicted to the perfect love that God has for us.

In fact, I am convinced that reconnecting to God's perfect love for us flows out into all aspects of our life. 

1 Peter 4:8 reads "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins".

We are too broken and needy in our earthen state to start off the day without reconnecting to His love for us. If we do not connect to His love, we go about seeking love from places that will not give us the fullness of the love that we really need.

It doesn't mean that your husband or wife won't fill your love void in some way. It doesn't mean your friends won't or affirmation from your boss won't or your own thoughts won't do it.

It simply means that no other form will be enough. When you start off the day full and connected to perfect love, you can give love more generously instead of going about seeking it, or being on the prowl.

Which leads me to my next question, Why do humans seek love so desperately? 

In my opinion, it is because love is directly connected to our sense of self worth and therefore, directly connected to our identity.

Over the past week I have been more conscious to connect in to God's love. This looks different at different times, but it doesn't always translate directly to "quiet time". Most of the time it literally looks like me taking a few seconds to physically request to actively feel the love of God. 

Yes, you can actively feel the love of God. 

No, it is not a ridiculous request. 

What does it feel like? You might ask. Well, for me it feels like strong and secure arms are being wrapped around me. It sounds like someone is telling me, "I love you so much". Sometimes there is even the most fantastic scent that gets sent my way. CRAZY?! If God can create the heavens and the earth, then He can certainly send you any kind of comfort He wants to.

And personally, I'm cool with having love manifested in a really awesome smell. I used to think I was just sitting near someone who smelled really awesome, but then I would get a wave of it in the car by myself or sitting in an empty classroom.

God loves to surprise us. God loves to speak to us. God also loves to confront those voices that try to contradict His.

***

Over the past three days I have heard this question within myself about 20 times: Who told you that?

It's a great question, really. Especially when it comes from God.

Who told you that?

When you start to tap into the perfect love connection God is ready and desiring to send you, a conversation opens between you and the One who loves you more than anything.

Who told you that you aren't beautiful?

Who told you that you can't write?

Who told you that you will never be successful enough?

Who told you that you have to be afraid?

Who told you that you have to worry when I am the I AM?

Who told you that you can't do it?

Who told you that you won't win this fight?

Who told you that you can't go?

Who told you that you will be rejected?

Catching my drift?

He wants you to know that HE isn't the one telling you some of the things you believe about yourself, your life, your job, or your future.

He is calling you up and out of your failures. He is calling you to walk and thrive in success. He is calling you to a life of victory. He is calling you to a life of victory beyond any particular situation or circumstance.

Life becomes much more clear when we begin to connect to the One that loves us. 

Connect to Him and let Him define who you are.